...those who persecute you?

Last night while I was praying before bed it came to my mind Jesus’ command to love our enemies and to pray for those who persecute us. So I started to do just that. And it didn’t take very long. I realized I couldn’t really think of any direct enemies or sources of persecution in my own life. Sure, America has its enemies, but mostly because we’re a major world power, not because our country is standing up for Christ in the face of opposition. I just can’t think of any for myself in particular. Jesus’ imperative to love our enemies and to pray for those who persecute us implies that there is a likelihood of there being people out there who won’t like what we’re doing, that we’re going against the grain and bringing light to places that have long been in the dark. The fact that I can’t think of any persecution toward myself makes me wonder, am I really going all out for Christ?

Trust me

God has been showing His beautiful face in my life in so many ways. Maybe I’m just looking harder for Him. But I’m falling so in love with Him, I can’t deny it. The joy that comes with being in relationship with Him is my sustaining power as life picks up its pace.

I keep coming into contact with the importance of trust. Do I trust God to do what He says He will do, that He will reign in the world and that He will lay out a path for me? Do I believe that He can take my imperfect self and do something momentous, or do I insist that there are certain mountains that simply cannot be moved? More and more I am being convinced that God is putting certain opportunities in my way, ones that I would normally be afraid to jump into, and convicting me that He certainly is big enough to do His work. Here I am, sitting in my closet, just one person in a sea of humanity. But God works through the weak, through those who have nothing to offer, and Lord knows both of those apply to me. Here I am, Lord. Send me. I put all my trust in You.

Oops...

It’s amazing how easily I forget about what’s really important. When I was in Honduras it was so crucial for me to spend time reading my Bible and feeding myself spiritually because I didn’t have anything else to fill me up. I was so aware of how necessary Jesus was to complete me. Then I came home and was back with all of my friends and family and back in my comfort zone where it was easy for me to feel fulfilled by those people and environments. When I left Honduras one of the things I could have told you was so important in my life and something that I had learned to do so much better since being there was spending time daily reading the Bible and talking to God. But when I got back all of that seemed to fall by the wayside because of that false sense of fulfillment that came with all being back in my comfort zone. I didn’t need Jesus when I had my friends and family around me. Oh, how quickly I forget. Once you get out of those habits it’s so difficult to get back into them, just like when you don’t exercise for a long time and then you’re out of shape and it just sucks trying to get past the soreness and back to the point when you feel strong and healthy. Now I’m at that point where I feel spiritually out of shape and am trying to get over the hump and back into the habit of being spiritually disciplined. It really is a discipline and takes repetition and practice and diligence and will power to get right. But just like the memory of how good it felt to be in shape is enough to make me want to start exercising again, the memory of how wonderful it feels to have Jesus at the forefront of my life and always in my thoughts and the master of my days is enough to make me want to get back to that point. And I won’t waste any time.

In the End...

Usually when I have so much time between my blogs I take up all my space playing catch up, but I think this one will be different. I’ve been home for a week and a half now, and it feels so good! But I also think I’m getting to the point where I am slowing down and starting to really miss being there. I miss the boys, I miss my homeless friends, I miss the Shine kids, I miss Alli and Tess and Amber and even Darwin sometimes. Of course, I missed everything from home while I was there too. I guess that’s what it feels like to have your heart split between two places. There will always be a part of it that longs to be somewhere else, and maybe sometime I’ll get used to that feeling.

I don’t really think I experienced culture shock when I got to Honduras, but I did feel it when I got back to the States. I think it’s because when you go to a different country you expect things to be different. And I’ve been to Honduras enough that I pretty much knew what to expect. But when you come back home you think nothing will seem weird because that’s what you know best, and then you realize you’re wrong. When I first stepped off the plane in Indy, the aesthetics threw me for a loop first. It’s so green, and it’s so flat, and it’s so cold! It was weird. As far as general culture goes, when I got to Houston I noticed that the way that would have been typical for an upper class Honduran to dress and present themselves was pretty much the norm for Americans. That might seem pretty obvious, but it was one of the first things that hit me coming back. There is so much more wealth here, it’s ridiculous, and I mean that.

People of course have their FAQ’s that I keep hearing since I’ve been back. It seems like nobody really knows where to start, so they just ask “How was Honduras?!” And what am I supposed to say to that? Lol, I usually just say, “It was wonderful, fantastic, so so good!” And that’s all they really want to know, they’re happy to know I’m back safely with all my limbs still attached. And that’s fine with me, I’m glad to give that answer and leave it at that. But other people actually want to know the details, and I’m also glad to share those. If you’re reading my blog I’m assuming you care to know details, so I’ll share a few.

Yes, I’m glad I went, I don’t regret it at all, and yes, I would love to go back again, but no, I don’t know when that will happen. I doubt I’ll go back again for an extended period of time, I feel like God was calling me there for three months and that’s all for now. My favorite thing about being there was the relationships I was able to build, with the people I lived with, worked with, and served. There is something special about a relationship between people that is based solely on love, without any other expectations. Pretty much all I had to give was a plate of food with a big side order of love, and when you give all the love you can, the returns are incredible. I would recommend it.

What did I learn? That everybody has a heart and soul, no matter what socioeconomic background they are from, or what language they speak, or where they grew up, or what their beliefs are, or you fill in the blank. It doesn’t matter. Everyone deserves to be loved, and from now on I will look at people with that filter. I mean, in the end isn’t that what it all boils down to anyway?

Last Hurrahs

Lately we keep calling everything we do our “last hurrah.” If there is something fun we want to do, we usually do it with the excuse of it being our last opportunity. We have had a few over the past week or so, and I think a couple are worth mentioning.

First of all, we took a trip to Belize! It was time for Amber to renew her visa, so we decided it would be a fun last trip for all of us to take together. Besides the actual trip itself, Belize had several last hurrahs. We left on Tuesday and after an eventful day and a half of travel by buses, taxis, and boats we arrived in Placencia, Belize. If you’ve never been to Belize but love the beach, I would recommend it as a prime vacation option. It was so relaxing and beautiful! It was kind of like time just slowed down for a couple of days. In Belize they speak English, Spanish, and this combination Belizean language…but pretty much everyone speaks English. We kept trying to speak to people in Spanish, and they would just look at us like we were crazy. What else is new.

The second day we were there we decided to go snorkeling on the reef. The decision wasn’t an easy one. Manatees are in Belize at this time of year and we really, really wanted to see one, especially Alli (who also thought that they were around her size. She was pretty surprised when we told her she wasn’t going to be able to hug one because they’re actually like 12 feet long). So anyway, we wanted to see a manatee, but the manatee tours were really expensive and didn’t guarantee that you would even see one. And our big dream was to swim with the whale sharks, but that turned out to be out of the question anyway because you have to wait until a full moon which doesn’t happen until next week. But we couldn’t think of a reason not to go snorkeling on the second largest reef in the world, so that was what we settled on. It was definitely a good choice! We saw a whole mess of colorful coral, all these different fish, starfish, barracudas, sea urchins, big clouds of minnows you could swim right through, a sting ray, stuff like that. We were definitely not disappointed! Other things we justified as being last hurrahs were the three trips we made to the local gelato shop (the last one being at 8 am the morning we left), Alli’s decision to splurge on a big, beautiful hammock, and the hours we all spent sitting on the beach soaking up the Belizean sun.

After another day of buses and boats, we arrived back home late Friday night. By the time we got back I felt like I needed to take a vacation from my vacation! All that traveling will wear you out! But we were definitely all happy with the way things worked out!

Last night was our last hurrah dinner. Amber made all of our favorites, fajitas, tortilla chips with salsa, these jalapeño things with cream cheese and bacon that the other girls love, and a cinnamon sugar chocolate coffee cake for dessert (yes, it is as delicious and as unhealthy as it sounds).

The best part about the last week or two has been all of the quality time Alli, Tess, Amber and I have been able to spend together. We have taken advantage of all the fun things we have gotten to do together and have just been absorbing all of the laughs, trying to have as much fun as we can to make it last as long as possible after we’re not together anymore. Sure it’s sad to think about leaving, but I’m trying to focus less on that and more on being in the moment. And since there never seems to be a dull moment here, that seems like it makes the most sense!

Scavenging

Hondurans really do have more fun. Here’s the story. The other night I mentioned scavenger hunts and Amber adamantly requested having one organized in honor of her birthday that is coming up next week. We told her today, Saturday, would be the best day to do it. So last night we dreamed up possibly the most fun scavenger hunt ever. We referenced a bunch of inside jokes and events we’ve all experienced together over the past few months.

This morning we finished our preparations and by two in the afternoon we were finally ready to start. We were estimating that our epic plans would take about two hours. We were mistaken. The first clue led to the park up the street from our house, all of our (including the puppies, Tasha and Toby’s) favorite place since its construction over Thanksgiving. There, Amber had to search for clues to things that we’ve done at the park. The best view in Tegucigalpa can be seen from one of the benches, the seesaw will be the death of the Shine kids one day if they keep jumping off while their partner is still up in the air across from them, the futbol cancha is Darwin’s favorite place there, and you could “scavenge” for pieces of candy under the piñata hanger. With the last clue at the park we placed a bottle of Welch’s sparkling grape juice as a clue to the final surprise.

Her next clue led her to a book that Tess and Alli bought for Amber and brought back in January entitled “A Thousand Miles, A Hundred Years.” From there, she was instructed to use the computer (with iTunes already cued up) to search for the songs we had sung at karaoke last night (another part of her birthday celebration). We had recorded our own versions of the four songs we had sung, three of which told her to keep searching and one of which gave her the next clue. The next clue about me being a pro at stalking by this method directed her to Facebook, where we had posted the next clue on her wall.

The clue led us out of the house to the only place in Honduras that will satisfy your craving for Nutella, the super delicious crepes restaurant in the mall. After she told the chef that he was “el mejor chef en el mundo,” she was given her next clue that directed her to the grocery store, La Colonia. Her next clue came with birthday candles (another clue to the final surprise) and took us to the movie rental store where Amber once flirted with the guy behind the counter in order to rent some movies we didn’t quite have enough money to pay for. There we gave her a clue with a quote from one of our favorite movies, Baby Mama. Inside the movie box was a clue that told her to go to the restaurant where we experienced the worst service in the city, Tony Roma’s. She had to go inside and ask who Tony Roma was and if she could please speak with him. Unfortunately, he wasn’t available for comments. After that, she was directed to MultiPlaza Mall where, at the YogenFruz store the other day, we were the unwilling audience to a PG-13 face-sucking show put on by the Honduran couple in front of us at the counter. Her task there was to order herself whatever kind of frozen yogurt she wanted…and of course Alli, Tess, and I did the same : ) Her next clue sent her downstairs to Seventeen, the store where she once tried on this dress whose hideousness she was apparently the only one unable to see. Needless to say, we didn’t let her buy it. There was crazy traffic getting out of the mall, so we just made her guess the next two places, the Breaking Chains building and el parque, our third feeding stop, for the sake of time. At this point we pulled out fake moustaches that we told her she had to wear for the rest of the hunt. Tess and Alli and I also wore them. Probably my favorite part of the whole event was sticking my head out the window as we waited in traffic and having cars back up to get a better look at car full of crazy Gringas wearing fake moustaches. When we finally got out of the traffic we made our way to Chili’s, Amber’s favorite restaurant that we won’t go to unless it’s a weekday during lunch hours (because that’s when they have the best specials, of course!). There we gave her huge plastic martini glasses (another final surprise clue). Our last stop was a place none of us had actually been before called the Cupcake Café. It ended up being the perfect final stop! We brought in the candles, martini glasses, and sparkling grape juice and had our own little birthday celebration. The store was so cute, Amber says she wants to go back on her actual birthday for lunch!

The whole extravaganza took not two, but four hours. But it was worth every preparation and every minute! To top off a wonderful day, we went out to feed our homeless friends and followed it up with a trip to the cine to see a movie. See, I told you Hondurans have more fun.

My boys

I don’t know how to tell the stories of the things that happen here. Sometimes I feel like I’m gypping those who faithfully read my blog out of getting to experience this with me like I wish you all could, and I want to apologize for that. I guess I just don’t think that words can do it justice. Telling stories has never been one of my fortes and certain things that happen here are tough for me to retell, usually just because I can’t find words that are sufficient enough to communicate my experiences and how the people here touch my heart with what they say and do. Also, some days there are just too many things to write down. But I can tell you that any story I could possibly tell about the things that have happened while I’ve been in Honduras can be summed up by saying this: It’s all about Jesus, it’s all about people, and it’s all about loving both with everything you are.

That being said, I’m want to mention the boys’ home called Veintiuno that we’ve been going to the past few weeks. I really haven’t mentioned much about it, but it has definitely embedded itself in my heart and I think I should share how with you.

From the moment we walk through the door to the moment we leave, I don’t think the smile leaves my face or the faces of the boys who live there. There are about 40-50 boys living there at a time and I don’t know many of their names, but I recognize all of their faces and love each of their hearts. Some of them are troublemakers, some just joke around all the time, some are sweet, some are shy and quiet. Some boys who come to Vientiuno (that’s the name of the boys’ home) have been picked up off the streets, but not all of them are orphans. Some have run away from home. Others come from families who can’t support them because there are too many kids and not enough money, or because the boy has a mental disorder that makes him difficult to take care of. They are all so special. I can’t believe I’m being this sappy, it’s really not me, but I just love them.

We only spend a couple hours at a time there and it always seems to fly by. We bring board games and cards and books to share with them and they just eat it all up. By now it has kind of become standard that I play Skip-Bo with Joel, Bryan, Hector, and whoever else decides to join us. We teach anyone who doesn’t know how to play yet, but it’s always at least the three of us. We just joke around and laugh at each other. Last time Joel and Bryan rapped the whole time we played, a song that is definitely not Jesus-approved, but they were hilarious. All the boys know our names and that we come just to have play and have fun, and I think everyone involved looks forward to the time we spend there. I love to just love them. The more time we’re there, the more I realize how hard it will be for me to leave them behind in just a couple weeks.